What happens when you lose your sense of self?

This move has been more difficult than I could have imagined. I’m finding it very difficult to get on. And yet, it doesn’t make any sense. I’ve done this before, many times.

Yesterday I was cold. I was fed up with the heating system which works, then doesn’t, then we have to call the syndic, then they come the next day, then it works for 2 days, then it doesn’t, then we have to call the syndic etc. It’s a week long process and it’s been repeated continually for the 3 weeks I’ve been back. The first time the guy was here he showed me how the unit in the lounge had to be adjusted with pliers. I ignored him thinking that doesn’t seem right, us having to do that. The third time someone came, he showed us how to take the air out of the system for the bathroom heater with a screwdriver. That looked a little easier, but I still had the doubts. A week later (yesterday afternoon) I was fed up. I found a screwdriver, got a glass, and proceeded to remove the air, and 3 inches of dirty water from the system. It was a little tricky, but I did it with no major damage. Next. I went into the lounge with my pliers and figured since I’d managed the bathroom, I’ll give the living room a go.

Mistake.

I had water pouring out of the heating system within about 2 minutes. The power shorted in the apartment, there was 2 inches of water throughout the entire living room and I was running screaming down the stairs for help. Three guys on the 1st floor followed me back. One spoke with Michelle on the phone. Another controlled the flow of water. And yet another mopped up as best he could hoping it wouldn’t flow downstairs. I just stood in the corner swearing. I’m now sitting amidst a disaster area. The carpet is hanging up in the kitchen trying to dry. The CD’s are covering the floor, all the booklets standing up drying, all our ‘white’ towels are now black, in a pile in the kitchen waiting to be washed, and I’m here typing on the net, answering questions like, “why didn’t you call me and ask to do that?” and “why didn’t you call me and ask me to call the syndic?” and why? why? why?

And wouldn’t you know it, the heating is still only half working.