The Herald, Tuesday 30 May – by Ken Smith

Whether you are a Glaswegian:
– Somebody you know used his football club’s fixtures to plan his wedding date
– You’ve been at a wedding where football scores have been announced in the church
– You aren’t surprised to find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish and chips, Irn Bru, fags & nappies all sold in the one shop
– You measure distance in minutes
-You can make whole sentences just with swear words
– You actually use words such as: boggin, amurny, ba’-heid, peely-wally, humphey-balkit, and double nuggit

this was scribbled on a piece of paper I’ve just come across while I’m tidying my desk…. (3 months is a long time to be away)